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Old 05-08-2010, 04:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Things you would never know without the movies


THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
§ During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
§ When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
§ If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
§ All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
§ The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
§ All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
§ It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
§ The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
§ Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
§ The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
§ All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
§ If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
§ You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
§ Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
§ If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
§ A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
§ When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
§ Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
§ If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
§ Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
§ Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
§ All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
§ A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
§ Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
§ Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
§ It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
§ Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
§ It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
§ A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
§ It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
§ When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
§ No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
§ Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
§ You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
§ Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
§ Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.


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Old 05-09-2010, 01:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
thats a definite from Kill Bill Awesome list genesis
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
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§ When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

good stuff. you know i alwayz wonder the same thing about some pure russian people talking in english while there is no english man is present there.

Last edited by humaira; 05-16-2010 at 03:08 AM.
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Old 05-17-2010, 09:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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God bless cheesy TV...humorous list but sadly true!
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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§ All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

This one specially, I can close my eyes and see all scenes from every movie that had a grocery store to have French Bread in the paper bag.


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Old 05-19-2010, 01:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That's hilarious!
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